80 Funny Quotes That Will Boost Your Mood

Laughter is truly the best medicine. Sometimes, all it takes is a hilarious quote to lighten your day, boost your mood, and put a smile on your face. Funny quotes are perfect for Instagram captions, social media posts, or even a quick daily pick-me-up. For more uplifting content, check out our Motivational Quotes for Instagram and discover wisdom mixed with humor. You can also explore BrainyQuote for a huge collection of witty and humorous quotes from famous personalities.

Short & Hilarious Funny Quotes

• “I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.” – Unknown
• “Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.” – Unknown
• “I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.” – Unknown

• “I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.” – Unknown
• “I could agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.” – Unknown
• “I’m not great at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?” – Chandler Bing
• “I don’t need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.” – Unknown
• “I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore, and forget at the same time.” – Unknown
• “Sometimes I pretend to be normal. But it gets boring, so I go back to being me.” – Unknown
• “Life is short. Buy the shoes, eat the cake, take the trip.” – Unknown
• “I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure.” – Unknown
• “I’m on a 30-day diet. So far, I’ve lost 15 days.” – Unknown
• “If I were a superhero, my power would be napping.” – Unknown
• “I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!” – Unknown
• “I don’t sweat—I sparkle.” – Unknown
• “Wine improves with age. I improve with wine.” – Unknown
• “I’m not short, I’m fun-sized.” – Unknown

• “I don’t suffer from insanity—I enjoy every minute of it.” – Unknown
• “Some days I amaze myself. Other days I put my keys in the fridge.” – Unknown
• “If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving isn’t for you.” – Unknown

Sarcastic & Witty Funny Quotes

• “I’m not bossy, I just have better ideas.” – Unknown

• “I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.” – Unknown
• “Life is short. Make sure you spend as much time as possible arguing with strangers on the internet.” – Unknown
• “I didn’t fall. I’m just spending some quality time with the floor.” – Unknown
• “I’m not lazy, I’m just highly motivated to do nothing.” – Unknown
• “I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.” – Unknown
• “I may be wrong, but I doubt it.” – Unknown
• “I’m not procrastinating. I’m doing side quests.” – Unknown
• “If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.” – Earl Wilson
• “I’m not weird, I’m a limited edition.” – Unknown
• “I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case of cheesecake emergencies.” – Unknown
• “I have a black belt in keeping it together while losing it inside.” – Unknown
• “I don’t need an inspirational quote. I need coffee.” – Unknown
• “I’m multitasking: eating, scrolling, and avoiding responsibilities.” – Unknown
• “I’m silently correcting your grammar.” – Unknown

• “I’d like to help you out today. Which way did you come in?” – Unknown
• “My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.” – Unknown
• “I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.” – Unknown
• “I put the ‘Pro’ in procrastinate.” – Unknown
• “I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.” – Unknown

Randomly Funny Quotes

• “I may be crazy, but at least I’m having fun.” – Unknown

• “I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.” – Unknown
• “My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch … I call it lunch.” – Unknown
• “I’m not lazy, I’m just on my energy-saving mode.” – Unknown
• “If life gives you lemons, wait for a tequila party.” – Unknown
• “I don’t need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off.” – Unknown
• “I’m not late. I’m just early for tomorrow.” – Unknown
• “I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort.” – Zach Galifianakis
• “I like my money where I can see it … hanging in my closet.” – Carrie Bradshaw
• “I am not lazy. I am on energy-saving mode.” – Unknown
• “I tried being normal once. Worst 2 minutes ever.” – Unknown
• “I dance because there’s no guarantee the world won’t end in 10 minutes.” – Unknown
• “I’m not short, I’m just concentrated awesome.” – Unknown
• “I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.” – Douglas Adams
• “I need a six-month vacation, twice a year.” – Unknown
• “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.” – Oscar Wilde
• “I’m silently judging your grammar.” – Unknown
• “I don’t have a bucket list, but my fucket list is a mile long.” – Unknown
• “I’m on a 30-day diet. So far, I’ve lost 15 days.” – Unknown
• “I can resist everything except temptation.” – Oscar Wilde

Mood-Boosting & Funny Quotes

• “I may be crazy, but at least I’m having fun.” – Unknown
• “I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.” – Unknown
• “My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch … I call it lunch.” – Unknown
• “I’m not lazy, I’m just on my energy-saving mode.” – Unknown
• “If life gives you lemons, wait for a tequila party.” – Unknown
• “I don’t need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off.” – Unknown
• “I’m not late. I’m just early for tomorrow.” – Unknown

• “I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort.” – Zach Galifianakis
• “I like my money where I can see it … hanging in my closet.” – Carrie Bradshaw
• “I am not lazy. I am on energy-saving mode.” – Unknown
• “I tried being normal once. Worst 2 minutes ever.” – Unknown
• “I dance because there’s no guarantee the world won’t end in 10 minutes.” – Unknown
• “I’m not short, I’m just concentrated awesome.” – Unknown
• “I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.” – Douglas Adams
• “I need a six-month vacation, twice a year.” – Unknown

• “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.” – Oscar Wilde
• “I’m silently judging your grammar.” – Unknown
• “I don’t have a bucket list, but my fucket list is a mile long.” – Unknown
• “I’m on a 30-day diet. So far, I’ve lost 15 days.” – Unknown
• “I can resist everything except temptation.” – Oscar Wilde

Final Thoughts

Funny quotes are the perfect way to lift your mood, make someone smile, or bring humor into everyday situations. With these 80 funny quotes, you’ll never run out of ways to lighten your day, create relatable social media content, or simply remind yourself to not take life too seriously. Humor is timeless, and adding a touch of laughter to your daily routine can make even the toughest days brighter.